As I walked out of that hospital room knowing… Knowing that it was over... Knowing that she... She was gone…. She was gone… I cried. I collapsed onto the floor, and I screamed and sobbed on the floor hoping it wasn't true. Doctors ran over to me to help me up, they only managed to prop me onto the wall. A few went into the room...that room… I couldn't, I… I was… she was gone, my everything was gone and I couldn't help her, I couldn't fix her as she did me…
Everything was so quiet, I could faintly hear all the noises but I could feel the sounds around me, the shouting in that room… her room… she's gone… the only thing I could hear was that long beep, I could feel that ever going and terrible sound coming from that heart monitor… she was gone.
A nurse tried to comfortingly put her hand on my shoulder but I jumped away and ran. I ran for seconds, minutes, or hours I couldn't tell. I ran for an eternity and I only ran for an instant, I just ran. I ran til my legs gave out and I fell down on the hard ground, but I felt no pain. With the never ending flow of hot tears running down my cheeks, I just laid there weeping for the part of my soul that was ripped away, and I cried over the pain of my heart having a hole blown through it.
I laid there looking at those stars, so many. So beautiful. Everything was so still and quiet and beautiful and calm and peaceful. But she was gone! How could my world still be continuing without her… how… I laid there til the sun came up no longer crying, I did nothing, I was empty. I laid there til the sun was high in the sky, the day looked so beautiful from there. I laid there til the sun was setting, the colors were so beautiful. I laid there til the stars were out and the moon shone brightly over me, I saw a shooting star. I laid there til the sun started to rise again, it was even more beautiful than the first. I laid there til the sun was up and the police put me into their car.
They took my to my home and gave me to my roomates with directions to take good care of me. Jack and Tom looked like they were talking to me, but I could only feel their words bounce off my body. Sarah was carefully watching me, trying to hide the fact that she was watching me and that she was hurt too I guess. She looked like she had been crying all night, her best friend... Gone.
I walked up the stairs to our room… my room… ponyo was sitting on my bed, just wagging her tail, so happy and excited to see me even though shes gone… gone. I laid on my bed and pulled her note out of my pocket. “Don't read till after it happens.” was written on the front of the folded piece of paper. Her smuggy handwriting made me smile and made my lip tremble my eyes became full of tears as I remembered our sappy love letters. It took far too much effort to unfold her last words to me, but I got it.
“I know we've been through almost all of it together. I just want you to remember. We have had an amazing story, and we stole the thrones of our world. Now, this is your world Nathin. This is your story and its not over yet, my part in it just happens to end in the earlier chapters. Please don't shut the world out and definitely don't scream in its face. You were the one to tell me if you don't have the key to happiness, don't stand out in the rain, just pick the lock and get warm. You need to go be with people and fall in love again. I'm only a chapter in your story now. Please keep reading -forever with, all the love we shared, all the happiness you gave me, and fun we stole together. Remember me as I was- Alex”
Ponyo curled up next to me as I sobbed into my pillow.
